My King

Currently I am getting ready to go home and be back with my loved ones for two weeks.  Just like Thanksgiving there are a lot of things that are running through my mind.  Will I stumble will I fall into temptation... I am not who  I was just four months ago.  I have changed four months may not seem like a lot but it is enough time to tell that God is moving and working out all the junk in my life and to recognize a lot of things and pray to God that I stay strong in him.  I am not worried about going crazy and doing something that is going to get me locked up, but it is more in a sense that I want to live a consecrated life-set apart completely.  The way I speak, act, dress, think, etc.  I am safe in my bubble while I am here but it's weird being part of the world at times.  You sense deadness and carelessness where ethics like integrity and honor are not a part of peoples daily life's.  Where cheating, scandals, and lies get you places. I don't know honestly last week I was at church and I was listening to the sermon and I knew that my relationship with Christ is such a beautiful and romantic one, but in Matt. ch 7 where it talks about  "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven,"  It's not just knowing God and knowing what he wants in your life, but it is more the intimate relationship that you have with him and it was just fresh revelation to me such beautiful words that are spoken in SofS.  Where the Lord is addressing his love to his people.  It's beautiful  how he loves us.  Growing up all women in one sense or another want the most beautiful love story to be created, however what we fail to realize is that we do have one.  One that is written with the intentions to be lived out with Jesus.  He is the one we should desire and have such closeness with.  Not just fleshly desires, but desires to want to know his heart the way that he knows ours.  The way that we know his thoughts and wants the way he knows ours.  I am lost for words when I think about how we should be lovesick with him and yet we reject him and want nothing to do with him.  He has written me a beautiful love story filled with desires, plans, his accomplishments, and his biography.  Yet, his book is not something I want... why?  He wrote it for me he wants me to read it and live it out, but I am too busy at times chasing other lovers.  It's sad.  This is how I-the church lives out our lives.  It's sad this love story should not be like this... but soon he will come for his bride.  A spotless bride a beautiful bride it is our duty that the bride may not be small in number and that she may be his beloved and he is hers.
Quickly I would like to just give a praise report about what the lord is doing in my life... This happend this past week:
Okay so I would like to just give a praise report!!  I just got off the phone with one of my yp’s that I was calling.  Last Sunday I was doing laundry and I heard the name “Shadbolt” I did not think anything of it and wondered why that name came to mind.  I came to work Monday and I was calling through my list then the name A. Shadbolt came up.  I was like I should give her a call because I felt like I had to pray for her.  So I called her and she did not answer, so I left her a message telling her that I needed to talk to her and pray with her.  Today she finally gave me a call back.  She told me that because of the economy they had decided to not come and were set on that.  However, because of that phone call of me just being obedient and listening to the lord and calling her she knew it was God’s way of saying that they did need to come and that He would provide. They are now on board coming and COMMITTED for sure!  Praise the LAMB glory to my GOD ((: that’s really all I just thought I had to share.


The God we serve is a mighty GOD he will not be limited by men.  Keep pressing in.  See you all soon much love!

R I S E N

I may or may have not mentioned the fact that while being here I am being taught about being a lady  RISEN WOMEN.  Not in a sense that I am small and need a big strong man to take care of me, but more in a sense that...  I recognize who I am in Christ and that I live that out like a woman who is so in love with the Lord that a man must seek after his heart to find hers because I am completely lost in him (the Lord.)  The program over all is a very interesting I can not say that I am not learning anything because I really am.  I  have learned how the lies of the enemy come in and try to make me less that what I should be... or who Christ intended me to be.  After the fasting LTE we had our Mens/Womens LTE.  It was an amazing weekend filled with girl fun.  I learned how to be hospitable and bake/cook some delicious yummies for my guest.  I also learned what it means to be a lifegiving woman.  To be a life giving woman is not just some woman that gives birth but more like a woman that her entire being gives life.  That even when the waves are crashing high and nothing makes sense that I am not running around with my head cut off and crying and acting scandalous.  It means that through the storm I stay calm because I know who I trust in and that during these trials I am praying and interceding for my family and loved ones.  I am at peace because I know where I stand in Christ.  This LTE just taught me so much I enjoyed it.  I learned that I can be a damsel in distress... Friday night we were taken out to the country side and our brothers learned to perceiver.  We had to pretend that we were kidnapped and they had to come rescue us.  We were not harmed but they had to run to save us while being shot at with paintball guns..  Needless to say that they were hit yet continued to run to our rescue... this event was more for the men just to teach them how to perceiver that it did not matter how hard a situation got that he had to fight for the women in his life.  I think the men pulled a lot out of it- just a thought.  I also learned that women can get down and have fun too...  I got to sock wrestle  where basically you put on socks up to your knee and then wrestle with another woman objective: get the sock off the opponent.  Hahahaha it was great.  I know very lady like.. not really but I enjoyed it.  
Welcome to womanhood.

Fasting...count it all as lost.

Time flies by... It's been a little over a month since I have last updated you and since that time a couple of things have happened.  Well Let's start where we left off...  Fasting LTE.  Our fasting LTE was an amazing and truly something that has helped me understand that if I skip a meal or two I will not die.  We began fasting Wednesday midnight Thursday morning.. I don't know if that makes sense, either way we broke fast Sunday morning all together.  During that time I remember really just wanting a vision of me sitting on the Lord's lap and desiring to physically feel him holding me and hugging me more than anything else.  I was open to whatever but that is something that I did truly desired.  I took adventure walks and spoke with the Lord only.  Well I forgot to mention that two of those three fasting days were days we could not speak at all.  I do not know how I managed , but I did.  One thing I did pull away from it was I felt like God was asking me if  I were willing to give up my dream.  My dream of living out in the country with my beautiful home.  I had it all planned out in my mind it had the lake off to the side and stretched as far as the eye could see.  "Casa de Steele."  A lovely courtyard with all the upper level rooms having a balcony and it was splendid like a little Mexican villa.  White rock, an art/music studio.  I had it down to a tee.  He asked me "would you be willing to let that go for me?"  I answered yes, but it was more of a ehhhh if you need me too I suppose I could do it for you.  He was not conformed with that and really neither was I.  I remember just kind of fighting the idea and thinking well why can't I have it all.  Then Saturday night in the auditorium they showed us the clip of  the passion where Jesus is being crucified and bleeding everywhere with the David Crowder band in the back singing how he loves us... then I thought to myself  if he was willing to DIE not just give up a dream but actually get off his throne from heaven come down to live among us humans.  Then die!  Die so I would not be separated from God the father anymore, die so I could live with him eternally forever.  Die so that my desire to sit on his lap and him hug me could actually come true! How selfish am I to want to hold on to my dream and want to live a normal life and have the things of this world.  These things will pass, but he will NOT!  I came to the conclusion that I could and I would be more than happy if he would use me for the sake of the kingdom.  Take me to the nations my life is but a breath.  Here today gone tomorrow.  I want to make the most of it and see his kingdom come!  After that epiphany I realized that he wasn't asking me to for sure give up on my dreams and desires it was more like a heart check to see where I was.  To show me hey just be ready at any point to keep that mindset of counting it all as lost.  Just to let you know I did not get the vision of sitting on his lap yet,  I am still waiting but my God is good and knows when he will give it to me.  :)