My King

Currently I am getting ready to go home and be back with my loved ones for two weeks.  Just like Thanksgiving there are a lot of things that are running through my mind.  Will I stumble will I fall into temptation... I am not who  I was just four months ago.  I have changed four months may not seem like a lot but it is enough time to tell that God is moving and working out all the junk in my life and to recognize a lot of things and pray to God that I stay strong in him.  I am not worried about going crazy and doing something that is going to get me locked up, but it is more in a sense that I want to live a consecrated life-set apart completely.  The way I speak, act, dress, think, etc.  I am safe in my bubble while I am here but it's weird being part of the world at times.  You sense deadness and carelessness where ethics like integrity and honor are not a part of peoples daily life's.  Where cheating, scandals, and lies get you places. I don't know honestly last week I was at church and I was listening to the sermon and I knew that my relationship with Christ is such a beautiful and romantic one, but in Matt. ch 7 where it talks about  "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven,"  It's not just knowing God and knowing what he wants in your life, but it is more the intimate relationship that you have with him and it was just fresh revelation to me such beautiful words that are spoken in SofS.  Where the Lord is addressing his love to his people.  It's beautiful  how he loves us.  Growing up all women in one sense or another want the most beautiful love story to be created, however what we fail to realize is that we do have one.  One that is written with the intentions to be lived out with Jesus.  He is the one we should desire and have such closeness with.  Not just fleshly desires, but desires to want to know his heart the way that he knows ours.  The way that we know his thoughts and wants the way he knows ours.  I am lost for words when I think about how we should be lovesick with him and yet we reject him and want nothing to do with him.  He has written me a beautiful love story filled with desires, plans, his accomplishments, and his biography.  Yet, his book is not something I want... why?  He wrote it for me he wants me to read it and live it out, but I am too busy at times chasing other lovers.  It's sad.  This is how I-the church lives out our lives.  It's sad this love story should not be like this... but soon he will come for his bride.  A spotless bride a beautiful bride it is our duty that the bride may not be small in number and that she may be his beloved and he is hers.
Quickly I would like to just give a praise report about what the lord is doing in my life... This happend this past week:
Okay so I would like to just give a praise report!!  I just got off the phone with one of my yp’s that I was calling.  Last Sunday I was doing laundry and I heard the name “Shadbolt” I did not think anything of it and wondered why that name came to mind.  I came to work Monday and I was calling through my list then the name A. Shadbolt came up.  I was like I should give her a call because I felt like I had to pray for her.  So I called her and she did not answer, so I left her a message telling her that I needed to talk to her and pray with her.  Today she finally gave me a call back.  She told me that because of the economy they had decided to not come and were set on that.  However, because of that phone call of me just being obedient and listening to the lord and calling her she knew it was God’s way of saying that they did need to come and that He would provide. They are now on board coming and COMMITTED for sure!  Praise the LAMB glory to my GOD ((: that’s really all I just thought I had to share.


The God we serve is a mighty GOD he will not be limited by men.  Keep pressing in.  See you all soon much love!

R I S E N

I may or may have not mentioned the fact that while being here I am being taught about being a lady  RISEN WOMEN.  Not in a sense that I am small and need a big strong man to take care of me, but more in a sense that...  I recognize who I am in Christ and that I live that out like a woman who is so in love with the Lord that a man must seek after his heart to find hers because I am completely lost in him (the Lord.)  The program over all is a very interesting I can not say that I am not learning anything because I really am.  I  have learned how the lies of the enemy come in and try to make me less that what I should be... or who Christ intended me to be.  After the fasting LTE we had our Mens/Womens LTE.  It was an amazing weekend filled with girl fun.  I learned how to be hospitable and bake/cook some delicious yummies for my guest.  I also learned what it means to be a lifegiving woman.  To be a life giving woman is not just some woman that gives birth but more like a woman that her entire being gives life.  That even when the waves are crashing high and nothing makes sense that I am not running around with my head cut off and crying and acting scandalous.  It means that through the storm I stay calm because I know who I trust in and that during these trials I am praying and interceding for my family and loved ones.  I am at peace because I know where I stand in Christ.  This LTE just taught me so much I enjoyed it.  I learned that I can be a damsel in distress... Friday night we were taken out to the country side and our brothers learned to perceiver.  We had to pretend that we were kidnapped and they had to come rescue us.  We were not harmed but they had to run to save us while being shot at with paintball guns..  Needless to say that they were hit yet continued to run to our rescue... this event was more for the men just to teach them how to perceiver that it did not matter how hard a situation got that he had to fight for the women in his life.  I think the men pulled a lot out of it- just a thought.  I also learned that women can get down and have fun too...  I got to sock wrestle  where basically you put on socks up to your knee and then wrestle with another woman objective: get the sock off the opponent.  Hahahaha it was great.  I know very lady like.. not really but I enjoyed it.  
Welcome to womanhood.

Fasting...count it all as lost.

Time flies by... It's been a little over a month since I have last updated you and since that time a couple of things have happened.  Well Let's start where we left off...  Fasting LTE.  Our fasting LTE was an amazing and truly something that has helped me understand that if I skip a meal or two I will not die.  We began fasting Wednesday midnight Thursday morning.. I don't know if that makes sense, either way we broke fast Sunday morning all together.  During that time I remember really just wanting a vision of me sitting on the Lord's lap and desiring to physically feel him holding me and hugging me more than anything else.  I was open to whatever but that is something that I did truly desired.  I took adventure walks and spoke with the Lord only.  Well I forgot to mention that two of those three fasting days were days we could not speak at all.  I do not know how I managed , but I did.  One thing I did pull away from it was I felt like God was asking me if  I were willing to give up my dream.  My dream of living out in the country with my beautiful home.  I had it all planned out in my mind it had the lake off to the side and stretched as far as the eye could see.  "Casa de Steele."  A lovely courtyard with all the upper level rooms having a balcony and it was splendid like a little Mexican villa.  White rock, an art/music studio.  I had it down to a tee.  He asked me "would you be willing to let that go for me?"  I answered yes, but it was more of a ehhhh if you need me too I suppose I could do it for you.  He was not conformed with that and really neither was I.  I remember just kind of fighting the idea and thinking well why can't I have it all.  Then Saturday night in the auditorium they showed us the clip of  the passion where Jesus is being crucified and bleeding everywhere with the David Crowder band in the back singing how he loves us... then I thought to myself  if he was willing to DIE not just give up a dream but actually get off his throne from heaven come down to live among us humans.  Then die!  Die so I would not be separated from God the father anymore, die so I could live with him eternally forever.  Die so that my desire to sit on his lap and him hug me could actually come true! How selfish am I to want to hold on to my dream and want to live a normal life and have the things of this world.  These things will pass, but he will NOT!  I came to the conclusion that I could and I would be more than happy if he would use me for the sake of the kingdom.  Take me to the nations my life is but a breath.  Here today gone tomorrow.  I want to make the most of it and see his kingdom come!  After that epiphany I realized that he wasn't asking me to for sure give up on my dreams and desires it was more like a heart check to see where I was.  To show me hey just be ready at any point to keep that mindset of counting it all as lost.  Just to let you know I did not get the vision of sitting on his lap yet,  I am still waiting but my God is good and knows when he will give it to me.  :)

Canada

I just came back from our ATF in Hamilton, Canada this past Monday.  It was a thirty something hour trip on a bus with about forty of us on SWAT/SUPPORT.  I am so glad that I was able to participate with the event because the Lord just continues to pour out his love on me is such great ways.  I remember really wanting to be part of the Merchandise team which is basically you just go and sells shirts and stuff at a booth, however I was chosen to be one of the head usher captains.  At first I thought it was lame I was upset because I did not want to do ushering in such a huge arena, however by the end of the event I loved what I did.  I had a group of volunteers that I directed they were fantastic I was on the floor of the Copps Colosseum  basically making sure that nothing was going wrong. Maintaining order I got to have a really neat head set that made me look like a security/CIA person.  I was dressed all in black and people listened to me.  I was nice.  I made sure that the people were not recording and did not have laser pointers.  Also during the bands that played... Newsboys, Jimmy Needham, Unhindered, School of Worship, R Swift, and L G Wise  I got to stand in front of the stage and help keep order.  It was really funny actually simply because of my stature.  Of the other three people that were with me were to of my guy friends both that are really really tall.  An easy 5'9 and 6'0.  Then there is me an easy 5'1 maybe 5'2 on a day when I were shoes with soles... haha but anyway I stood there and did nothing just watched three thousand young people worship the Lord and give him glory through music.  It was amazing I remember that the last worship session that we had  I really felt the presence of the Lord and you knew that the Holy Spirit was moving in that place.  My eyes struggled to stay dry, but at last I could not and I cried.  I cried out of gratitude because of my dad's goodness and faithfulness. I cried because what we do counts.  We are the hands and feet of the bride.  Our generation is so lost, the enemy has them so  trapped with these lies that religion is dead.  That there is no God, how could he exist and allow such iniquity to happen all over the world.. My question is how can you not see the hand of the Lord over everything.  How good he is, how loving, how can you stand and see all the beauty and still question?  Amazing..  I remember finally we were doing a final sweep of the place to make sure that any compassion kids (sponsor pages) were not left behind because they take roughly six months to put together.  I remember passing up and down the arena and seeing so many papers for missions left scattered all over the floor carelessly and I thought  this is so sad.  These people are lost and need to be ministered too, how can you be so wasteful and just began to get upset I remember asking the Lord is it even worth it... We invest so much money into making these pamphlets so that they can just be left there all over the floor..  Then the spirit let me know,  "If one, if only one person get's it, then yes it is."  Then I understood.  It may seem like a waste but if one person picks up the pamphlet fills it out goes on missions and sees what a need there is everywhere, then it was so worth all of it.  Also on the way back we were able to go to Niagara Falls... it was four thirty in the morning and it was simply amazing.  It is weird because before I left I remember thinking to myself how amazing must a real waterfall sound...  I remembered looking up pictures on Google because I thought they were amazing and I thought about the voice of the lord coming like rushing waters.  Then there I am the feeling is very surreal  I can not describe I could not see well but the sound was so beautiful  I honestly could only thank the Lord and his goodness and love.  Praise the King of Kings.  My dad is amazing.  Well on a final note this is the week much waited for our fasting LTE Thursday through Saturday we are going to kill our flesh and built our spirit man.  I am excited to share what the Lord is going to revile  I pray blessings upon the church much love 

L ♥ V E

so I have been reading 1 corinthians ch. 13. during my quiet times It speaks on love, it is a chapter very well known throughout the church and we know  how love it patient, love is kind, it does not boast... so on and so forth however what we fail to realize is prior to speaking about the acts that are love it tells us just how much anything else is meaningless without it.  If i speak with the tongues of man but have not love i am but a resounding gong... so what is love?  Love, love is found in Christ alone.  So when you take out love and insert God it fits perfectly, and if you take out love and insert your name does it match up still...?  Is Caroline patient? is Caroline Kind? Do I not delight in evil, but rejoice in truth?... No Therefore I lack love.  So how is it that we throw around a word with so much meaning on any and everything... ie I love you, I love my car, I love my house...?  We take a word with so much meaning that really is so powerful and mix it with mud, taint what it's true meaning is.  We should really be careful when to use this word and when we think about those that we "love," let us reflect on our actions toward them are we not easily angered toward them... or do we self seek?  I am not perfect and I recognize this and you may think well Caroline do not condemn yourself  it's okay to not be perfect, but here is the great part... verse 11 when perfection comes the imperfect disappears.  WOW  What revelation when perfection comes!! the imperfection disappears!!! So who is perfection? CHRIST is perfection so when CHRIST comes, when Christ comes into my life, my imperfection disappears because it no longer matters that I am imperfect because he now dwells in me he lives within.  Therefore this fleshly Caroline that is self seeking no longer is going on her own strength but it is Christ living in her it is Christ giving her patients, it is Christ giving her kindness toward  others.  No longer am I battling it out on my own, but Christ in me.! Praise the Lamb.  I honestly want to love like nobodies business, my enemies, my family, my king.  My everything.  I want to love the unlovable.  We love because he first loved us.

FREEDOM

This week is a week that we have had the honor in having Sy Rogers join us for fifteen hours of outpouring on topics that the church is very reserved on.  Topics such as pornography, masturbation, and homosexuality.  While this is not something that may seem worth while, I'd like to say that it is something that our youth is facing and that the culture that surrounds us is saying "its okay."  While on the other hand we have a church that is saying, "this is wrong, you are going to burn in hell for such acts, REPENT."  It is a topic of much controversy that can uprise hostility.  Sy is an amazing man of God that speaks truth, but very directly .  To tell you where God has pulled him out of is a story in itself.  However, here is his website I highly recommend that you look him up and check out some of his footage.  http://www.syrogers.com/ This week of FREEDOM is new it is something that we are being the prototype of.  I am very excited.  I have learned a lot while we are only on day two God has revealed a lot to me through these sessions.  One thing that sticks out the most to me is the topic of struggle.  We all have something that we struggle and with, when we accepted Christ as our Lord it was not like taking some pill that would automatically take away all the symptoms of our sickness.  We still have symptoms but we knew that if we continued to seek God our struggle would not overpower us, on the other hand we would have victory!  There is so much that goes on I would never end telling my stories.  For real Let me think what else is worthwhile, OH! God has given me the opportunity to travel to Hamilton, Canada from October 20-27 for the ATF event up there.  I am really excited and praying that it is a blessing :))  So if you would please keep me in your prayers so that God takes and brings us back safely.  This past week was our first bi-weekly fast on Wednesday.  twenty four hours that this temple went without food.  It was very interesting.  I was a little nervous at first but I knew that God is good and he truly gave me the strength to not have hunger I had breakthrough on some things that I was praying about so PRAISE JESUS on that.  Every other Wed.  we will be fasting to build up to our next LTE (life transforming event) in November a three day fast.  Now that I am afraid of.  I really do pray and hope that I don't die... haha I'm sure I wont but nevertheless, I pray.  I really want the Lord to reveal and give me a vision and purpose to work towards and to speak to me.  I am also praying that I can I will experience him in a new way... I can't explain it yet, but by faith when I do, I WILL TELL YOU! Ahhh okay so again.  Thank you so much for your prayers I know that God is listening to them and blessing  me! I pray that he blesses each and everyone of your families in abundance.  Until next time be at peace I am still alive doing well growing in the things of the lord, blessings!

the Honor Academy

4 September 2010:

Well Lets see yesterday marked three weeks in this place.  I will try to update and keep everyone who cares about how I'm doing up to date on things that are going on.  My first week was Gauntlet week.  This week consisted of  waking up at five thirty and having corporate exercise with everyone on campus at six.  Then sessions for the rest of the day that covered everything from the heart of Teen Mania to what we will be doing this year.  At the end of the week we made a commitment to be here for the entire year... its crazy because for some reason i though I was at camp and it was over then I realized "this is only the beginning..." hahahah oh well.  So I gave my word that I would be here, so help me God.  These last two weeks I was placed in my  ministry placement that I work about thirty one hours a week in.  My ministry placement is the ATF Acquire The Fire call center.  I get the privilege of calling youth pastors and letting them know how the event is going to benefit their youth.  I am calling for the Portland, Oregon event on April 15-16 2011.  Please pray that God gives me strength to do it, to be honest it was not my first pick i wanted to be in Global Expeditions Call center talking to youth, letting them know why they should go on missions.. but God has different plans for me.  Its okay all the glory goes to him.  I now get to wake up at four thirty and go to corporate exercise with everyone on campus at five.  :)  I actually have lots of joy when I do it.. for some odd reason.  hahahah.  I have class at eight and go to work from ten till six.  I am learning a lot of self control simply because the ministry has us on Orange block which means I can only have sugar one day week I get to choose, I'm not allowed to talk to friends outside campus via text/calls  Monday through Friday.  This is because they want to build unity within the body of Christ, which is everyone on campus.  Talking to people on the outside kind of hinders those relationships.. I live in Green dorm,  my  CA is Justina Spellmeyer, my core name is Restoration which is really cool seeing as though I know God wants to restore me.  I have a brother core the ministry does this so  I know how to build a pure relationship with the opposite sex without it being corrupted or based on fleshly desires.  I participate in a creative ministry which is Terra Nova.  I love it!!  We get together and do prayer intercessory as well as evangelism and treasure hunts.  The other night we were praying and I got a picture of a confederate flag... I didn't think much of it but i was like thats weird Lord is their racism going on... I forgot about it and the next day at corporate we were doing push ups and I saw this girl and she had on a bright orange shirt and on the back guess what... its had a confederate flag.  So i knew it was God  I tried to get out of praying for her cause i felt weird because i didn't know her, but as we were leaving I saw her all alone and away from the mob running to the cafeteria to get breakfast so i knew i had to obey the holy spirit.  I went up to her and i told her what had happened.  So when I asked if their was anything in specific that she needed prayer for she told me that she was feeling  discouraged because of corporate.  So I knew that all that joy that i felt was to be passed on.  So we prayed! It was cool, really its just glory to God.  I'm thankful that he would want to use me.  My home church that I go to is a Hispanic church Asemblia de Dios.  Its neat they are like twenty of us interns that go.  I like it a lot i feel Gods presence,  I tried a Caucasian church however the service is not that long and only last for like an hour... I needed a little more meat. haha.  There are days that I want to loose my mind because I feel like I cant go anywhere but its okay.  We are about to go through our first LTE Life Transforming Event. ESOAL. Emotional Stretching Opportunity of A Lifetime  It begins on the fifteenth of September and will continue until sometime possibly till Sunday  the nineteenth of September.  I will not be able to shower, brush my teeth, all the comforts of the world will be stripped from me and I will die to my flesh.  Please pray that God gives me strength to make it through and not ring out. I need to hit BAR Burial And Resurrection where its God truly just caring me through it because I know longer can.  I am scared, nervous, ready, and excited.  My company is Texas.  I will let you know how everything goes, but please pray that I am spiritually prepared and emotionally prepared.  I try not to think about it and will deal with it when the day comes.  Other than that I don't have much more to say.  I love and miss everyone back home God bless!!! saludos a todos!

E S O A L

highlights of 2010 E.S.O.A.L

 I finished my LTE Life Transforming Event- Emotionally Stretching Opportunity of A Lifetime otherwise known as ESOAL this past Sunday around six in the morning.  It all began around last Wednesday  around nine at night.  While a lot of my experience was a blurr, I will do my best to give detail and recall facts.  I was placed in Texas Company with my brother core and cousin cores.  two families, four cores- two guy cores and two girl cores.  I obviously loved my company!  We slept for a total of thirteen hours the entire time we were out there.  eighty-four hours the entire time from beginning to end, and most of all an amazing time the Lord showed me his greatness.  I remember the first day Thursday I wanted to ring out so bad because I thought i was so dumb being out there in the heat and sweating.  I didnt find a lot of purpose in it and I missed my bed and good food.  We ate three times a day our food consisted of a serving of 12oz of rice (no flavor) beans(no flavor) cornmeal(no flavor and food colored) I could not get through more than half a cup and it was forced down.  Its crazy how much you take a sandwich or an apple for granted until you can not have it and you learn how to split  a granola bar (chewy) into like thirty pieces to share with everyone.  My entire family was working hard so i figured I would not quite knowing I had more to give and just would pray for an injury so I could ring out medically I remember hoping to hurt myself.  It sounds bad but its crazy how the enemy puts those thoughts and lets us play with them so that we can give up.  I spent most of Thursday in self pity.  I worked hard, but the day seemed to drag on forever simply because I was too focused on myself and not on those around me.  My pride would not let me ring the bell as well I know I would not be able to look at the kernel in the eye and tell him I could not go on.  Friday I finally realized that I just needed to make it through the day and I would be okay.  I was in pain, I was chaffing and dirty.  With no shower and little sleep I didn't know what to expect so I expected the worst.  We had the opportunity to worship and God really just gave me strength at five in the morning.    I didn't want to let my family down and so I decided I would be full of joy.  The days were so hot but I remember that Friday God provided wind and clouds I was so thankful!  Finally on Saturday I remember marching in the morning around and I just saw Jackie's smile come to face and then my moms and then Luis's and then my sister Elizabeth's.  Then it hit me that these people were praying for me I had a church praying for me and that brothers and sisters around the country lifting all of the internship in prayer.  I wasn't alone and that God was with me.  At that point I was full of pure joy the kind in James 1:2-4.  I truly experienced it!  From that point on I was in such a good mood it didn't matter what they did to us I loved every minute of it.!  God showed me how unified we have to be I saw time in time again the companies that were weak in unity lost a lot of people while our company because we constantly were encouraging each other only lost six people total.  That is GOOD!  Joy is not something that we feel all the time.  A lot of the time when we are facing a hard trial we want to sit around and throw pity parties for ourselves and complain, yet we fail to realize that those around us are going through similar things and possibly worse.  You choose JOY!  Sometimes you can not control the situation you are in but you can control your attitude you can choose JOY you can choose to smile even when you don't feel like it, you may think its not something I feel its lying... NO! Its taking a stand having faith that God is in control and that even in the trial you trust him!  Whether through ESOAL or at work or even waiting for the red light, when you are running late.  Choose joy! hahahaha okay on a lighter note, i think I will try to explain some of the evolutions that we did.  We had to push a school bus a quarter mile, we had to sit in a cold bath in the middle of the night,  we rolled down a hill, we ran obstacle courses that were set up like navy seal basic training!  We got sandy! hahahah they would water us down from head to toe and then have us run to the sand pits and come back, and made us walk into a pond full of muddy water.  You may think this is so cruel why would they do this why would they put you through that... well truth is they didn't i CHOSE to do it!  We marched a lot!! I lost my voice We had two mile runs in the morning.  Words will never give justice to exactly what I experienced those days.  God is so good and well  in the end I know he had me go through it to show me his faithfulness, my God, my God is a GOOD GOD!  if you would like to check some videos out here is the site! till next time GOD BLESS

 trailerclub.blogspot.com

Oh by the way:  Thank you so much for all of the prayer that you guys are doing for me.  Its your faithfulness in it that God is working wonders in my life right now! May God continue to bless each and everyone of you!  :D