World Awarness

I could tell you about the LTE that we went through in the beginning of May, but apparently this guy was able to sneak a camera into the LTE soo I'll just let you get a glimpse of his view and what life was like on the run and on Man v Wild ((:

On a side note: I remember being on the "run" and seeing the masses of people running because we knew we were being chased. I felt like the holy spirit was really just telling me that we are really going to be living like this in a couple of years that while we might have been role playing for the weekend that one day we are going to look back and realize that it was almost like foreshadowing..

The Unreached People

In March the internship had an LTE called the Unreached People Group.  During this time we had to become REAL ethnic groups that have not heard the gospel.  I had the opportunity to be an "unreached"  then there was a group of people that were the "missionaries" that brought the gospel to share the GOOD NEWS.  It was hands on training to learn how to adapt to people from different cultures our group.  The name of my group was the Nhang Tribe we had some of the best missionaries we could have asked for. They were very loving and kind.
They showed us the true love of God and eventually "saved" us. the LTE more than anything was to show us and open our eyes that it may not always be easy because you will have to possibly learn a new language or be careful with certain gestures because it is offensive to the people you are trying to reach.  "Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.  To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. ²² To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings."

-Paul.

voluntary weakness

Well it has been a while, I apologize I am not all that great at keeping everything up to date.  Well  back in February we had our second three day fast.  I remember going into the fast thinking that it was going to be great because back in November it was an amazing time of just encountering the Lord.  I really was ready and just wanted to go all in and experience him, however the Spring brought forth anything but life during that fast.  I remember being very weak, tired, and hungry.  I would take naps and dream that I broke fast.  I remember thinking that the goal went from truly encountering the Lord in a new and exciting way to, "Do not break fast." I really saw the hand of the Lord come over me and really just guide me  to have strength to not fall into  temptation .  Sometimes in life we think that something that is "suppose" to be easy propose us to be some of the most difficult tasks that we face.  At the end of it all the glory really goes to the Lord.  Like Paul says "For when I am weak, then I am strong."  We are not strong in ourselves because if we could do it we would not need God, however; that is not the case at all we are made weak to truly understand are uttermost dependence on the Lord and not take for granted how powerful he is and what He can do in our lives.  Time and time again I am reminded that when I can no longer walk that he comes along side to carry me through it all.  Praises to my King.

hello eleven

It has been a while since I last wrote. I hope that all of are doing well.  Just wanted to let you guys know how things are going.  About a month ago we got our new class of Januaries.  Before leaving for break I really wanted a couple of Januaries.  I remember thinking that six girls was not enough, but then to my dismay I learned that we were not going to be getting any more.  I was very heart broken and sad.  On top of it all I learned that one of my brother's was getting pulled out of our family core and getting put as an ACA for one of the new January cores.  I was devastated.  Then I heard the Lord tell me, "He is not your's why are you so sad?  He is mine I can do with him as I please.  As long as you have fear of people leaving you I will continue to pull and rip them out of your life.  I am all you need I will not leave you, I will not forsake you." I learned that my brothers as well were not getting a January.  My entire family was going to be a strict August core.  With the ratio of two men per woman... I began to wonder how we were going to manage.  Moving into one room with six women is to say the least tuff.  I don't know how we manage to be honest.  There is little privacy and you learn that there is little room for mess.  So things have to be kept in there own space in order to things to run smoothly and for the room to stay in order.  I remember reading in a book for our World View class a part where Colson (the author) visits Garcia Moreno Prison and he describes the conditions of twelve men in a dark room six beds (metal sheets attached to the walls)  taking turns sleeping or lying on the floor.  Which was covered with mildew and mold.  I remember thinking... thank you Lord for what I have.  Next door to us we have an all January core.  I was really excited because we have unofficially adopted them.  So instead of getting just one or two sisters I have obtained SIX! this made me very happy :))
  The Lord has really just been challenging me with seeking him more.  I love the Lord a lot.  I am very thankful for everything that he has done.  I can testify on how great He is on the things he has done in my life as well as those around me.  I sometimes wonder why he loves me so much... 
I am so dirty and like Ezekiel 16:5 "No one had the slightest interest in you; no one pitied you or cared for you. On the day you were born, you were unwanted, dumped in a field and left to die"
THAT WAS ME.  THAT IS ME!  However, God had pity on me... he loves me!!! He actually wants something with me.  I don't deserve it.  
What am I doing though for him?  Do i seek after him the way I should?  NO.  I am lazy I don't want to fast a meal to seek him face, unless it's corporate.  There are people dying In Portland, People living in darkness... 
The other day someone left us a letter:
"Thank you so much for doing what you do.  I am a resident of Oregon and I have lived there my whole life.  People in Oregon are living for nothing.  They are addicted to week, meth, alcohol, and being superficial.  They are lost, confused, and living in darkness, Even though these people are living in darkness; these are my people.  I love them.  Thank you for being faithful and coming into everyday even when you didn't want to.  Thank you for being Christ to the people you call.  Thank you for bringing God to Oregon.  Please do not grow weary of doing good the fruit will be produced.  I can't express my gratitude."
I don't know who left it.  As I mentioned in the past I call for the state of Oregon.  The percentage of Christians is extremely low.  Like two percent of People are Christians.  The terrain is tuff and the soil is very hard.  I have come to love Portland with all my heart.  I call people daily that say it's a waste of my time because they have no youth.  Guess what that is NOT wasting my time.  People laugh because they do not have active youth groups... That is not funny.  It is sad.  It stirs up frustration how can you sleep at night knowing that there are so many youth dying on the streets and okay living among sin?  Senior pastors telling me that their youth is okay where they are at..  Complacency.  I am disgusted.   Please help me pray for my event.  Pray that the entire state of Oregon can come to know Jesus.  that the entire state may bow down and give him praise.  Please pray that I may come to know my Savior more and learn more about his heart and mind.  I want to look into his eyes when I finally meet him and truly know him.  Not by name, not by what I heard,  but what he whispered to me in the quite place in the times that we were together and I heard his heartbeat.  The times that I lay my head on his chest and he held me.  
I don't want this world.  This world has nothing for me.  

My King

Currently I am getting ready to go home and be back with my loved ones for two weeks.  Just like Thanksgiving there are a lot of things that are running through my mind.  Will I stumble will I fall into temptation... I am not who  I was just four months ago.  I have changed four months may not seem like a lot but it is enough time to tell that God is moving and working out all the junk in my life and to recognize a lot of things and pray to God that I stay strong in him.  I am not worried about going crazy and doing something that is going to get me locked up, but it is more in a sense that I want to live a consecrated life-set apart completely.  The way I speak, act, dress, think, etc.  I am safe in my bubble while I am here but it's weird being part of the world at times.  You sense deadness and carelessness where ethics like integrity and honor are not a part of peoples daily life's.  Where cheating, scandals, and lies get you places. I don't know honestly last week I was at church and I was listening to the sermon and I knew that my relationship with Christ is such a beautiful and romantic one, but in Matt. ch 7 where it talks about  "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven,"  It's not just knowing God and knowing what he wants in your life, but it is more the intimate relationship that you have with him and it was just fresh revelation to me such beautiful words that are spoken in SofS.  Where the Lord is addressing his love to his people.  It's beautiful  how he loves us.  Growing up all women in one sense or another want the most beautiful love story to be created, however what we fail to realize is that we do have one.  One that is written with the intentions to be lived out with Jesus.  He is the one we should desire and have such closeness with.  Not just fleshly desires, but desires to want to know his heart the way that he knows ours.  The way that we know his thoughts and wants the way he knows ours.  I am lost for words when I think about how we should be lovesick with him and yet we reject him and want nothing to do with him.  He has written me a beautiful love story filled with desires, plans, his accomplishments, and his biography.  Yet, his book is not something I want... why?  He wrote it for me he wants me to read it and live it out, but I am too busy at times chasing other lovers.  It's sad.  This is how I-the church lives out our lives.  It's sad this love story should not be like this... but soon he will come for his bride.  A spotless bride a beautiful bride it is our duty that the bride may not be small in number and that she may be his beloved and he is hers.
Quickly I would like to just give a praise report about what the lord is doing in my life... This happend this past week:
Okay so I would like to just give a praise report!!  I just got off the phone with one of my yp’s that I was calling.  Last Sunday I was doing laundry and I heard the name “Shadbolt” I did not think anything of it and wondered why that name came to mind.  I came to work Monday and I was calling through my list then the name A. Shadbolt came up.  I was like I should give her a call because I felt like I had to pray for her.  So I called her and she did not answer, so I left her a message telling her that I needed to talk to her and pray with her.  Today she finally gave me a call back.  She told me that because of the economy they had decided to not come and were set on that.  However, because of that phone call of me just being obedient and listening to the lord and calling her she knew it was God’s way of saying that they did need to come and that He would provide. They are now on board coming and COMMITTED for sure!  Praise the LAMB glory to my GOD ((: that’s really all I just thought I had to share.


The God we serve is a mighty GOD he will not be limited by men.  Keep pressing in.  See you all soon much love!

R I S E N

I may or may have not mentioned the fact that while being here I am being taught about being a lady  RISEN WOMEN.  Not in a sense that I am small and need a big strong man to take care of me, but more in a sense that...  I recognize who I am in Christ and that I live that out like a woman who is so in love with the Lord that a man must seek after his heart to find hers because I am completely lost in him (the Lord.)  The program over all is a very interesting I can not say that I am not learning anything because I really am.  I  have learned how the lies of the enemy come in and try to make me less that what I should be... or who Christ intended me to be.  After the fasting LTE we had our Mens/Womens LTE.  It was an amazing weekend filled with girl fun.  I learned how to be hospitable and bake/cook some delicious yummies for my guest.  I also learned what it means to be a lifegiving woman.  To be a life giving woman is not just some woman that gives birth but more like a woman that her entire being gives life.  That even when the waves are crashing high and nothing makes sense that I am not running around with my head cut off and crying and acting scandalous.  It means that through the storm I stay calm because I know who I trust in and that during these trials I am praying and interceding for my family and loved ones.  I am at peace because I know where I stand in Christ.  This LTE just taught me so much I enjoyed it.  I learned that I can be a damsel in distress... Friday night we were taken out to the country side and our brothers learned to perceiver.  We had to pretend that we were kidnapped and they had to come rescue us.  We were not harmed but they had to run to save us while being shot at with paintball guns..  Needless to say that they were hit yet continued to run to our rescue... this event was more for the men just to teach them how to perceiver that it did not matter how hard a situation got that he had to fight for the women in his life.  I think the men pulled a lot out of it- just a thought.  I also learned that women can get down and have fun too...  I got to sock wrestle  where basically you put on socks up to your knee and then wrestle with another woman objective: get the sock off the opponent.  Hahahaha it was great.  I know very lady like.. not really but I enjoyed it.  
Welcome to womanhood.

Fasting...count it all as lost.

Time flies by... It's been a little over a month since I have last updated you and since that time a couple of things have happened.  Well Let's start where we left off...  Fasting LTE.  Our fasting LTE was an amazing and truly something that has helped me understand that if I skip a meal or two I will not die.  We began fasting Wednesday midnight Thursday morning.. I don't know if that makes sense, either way we broke fast Sunday morning all together.  During that time I remember really just wanting a vision of me sitting on the Lord's lap and desiring to physically feel him holding me and hugging me more than anything else.  I was open to whatever but that is something that I did truly desired.  I took adventure walks and spoke with the Lord only.  Well I forgot to mention that two of those three fasting days were days we could not speak at all.  I do not know how I managed , but I did.  One thing I did pull away from it was I felt like God was asking me if  I were willing to give up my dream.  My dream of living out in the country with my beautiful home.  I had it all planned out in my mind it had the lake off to the side and stretched as far as the eye could see.  "Casa de Steele."  A lovely courtyard with all the upper level rooms having a balcony and it was splendid like a little Mexican villa.  White rock, an art/music studio.  I had it down to a tee.  He asked me "would you be willing to let that go for me?"  I answered yes, but it was more of a ehhhh if you need me too I suppose I could do it for you.  He was not conformed with that and really neither was I.  I remember just kind of fighting the idea and thinking well why can't I have it all.  Then Saturday night in the auditorium they showed us the clip of  the passion where Jesus is being crucified and bleeding everywhere with the David Crowder band in the back singing how he loves us... then I thought to myself  if he was willing to DIE not just give up a dream but actually get off his throne from heaven come down to live among us humans.  Then die!  Die so I would not be separated from God the father anymore, die so I could live with him eternally forever.  Die so that my desire to sit on his lap and him hug me could actually come true! How selfish am I to want to hold on to my dream and want to live a normal life and have the things of this world.  These things will pass, but he will NOT!  I came to the conclusion that I could and I would be more than happy if he would use me for the sake of the kingdom.  Take me to the nations my life is but a breath.  Here today gone tomorrow.  I want to make the most of it and see his kingdom come!  After that epiphany I realized that he wasn't asking me to for sure give up on my dreams and desires it was more like a heart check to see where I was.  To show me hey just be ready at any point to keep that mindset of counting it all as lost.  Just to let you know I did not get the vision of sitting on his lap yet,  I am still waiting but my God is good and knows when he will give it to me.  :)